Content.

We're doing an extended fast right now, and I say that not to brag on our spirituality [we don't fast because we're awesome...we fast because we need something drastic to get our focus to stay on Jesus!], but to give a background for everything I may say in the next two months. If you've never fasted, you should try it. There's no substitute for it.

God has been uprooting what feels like every part of my core since this thing started. What's funny is that it took me a week to realize that was what was happening.

(See? I NEED to fast. I'm just plain dumb sometimes without it.)

A few weeks ago, I had hit what really felt like rock bottom. And I doubt anyone who has spent time with me even noticed. It was an internal disease, and felt like it was rotting my insides. What was I doing wrong? I was so miserable, all day, every day. I would just sit and watch my two incredibly lovely daughters and plan how to make sure they were taken care of so that I could commit suicide.

And for no reason!

When I talked to Matthew about it, that's all I could say. I was wishing myself dead, and had no idea why. Nothing new had happened. Nothing had gone wrong. Plus, I was fasting - wasn't I supposed to be getting closer to Jesus?

But I was.

Someone at our amazing church felt the need to invite me and Matthew to a leadership gathering [we are not in leadership in any way...so it was a random Jesus thing!] where a man who is a speaker from our pastor's home church in Raliegh would be coming to talk and pray for the leadership team. I did not want to go. I had been dealing with stuff from my past all week for no apparent reason, and just wanted to curl up and be alone. But I went.

And when he prayed for me and Matthew, I was expecting the usual - the focus would be on Matthew, and his gifts, and his ministry potential, and I was going to be his helper. [This doesn't bother me...I think my husband's the jam!! And I hate being the center of attention. So the usual works perfectly for me.]

But he started praying for me, and this guy totally read me like a book. I started bawling immediately [crying in public - probably my least favorite thing]. He brought up the things from my past that God had been bringing to my mind all week and dealt with them. I had assumed that these thoughts had been attacks of some kind, just trying to torture me - but it was Jesus, making me look at the wounds so that I could see them get healed.

God's heart is unknowable, for sure, but it is full of love for us. I do know that.

This stuff had been eating me away, and stealing my joy, and I hadn't even realized it was still there! I'm still processing it, and working through it with Jesus, but I feel completely different now.

I feel content.

I walk outside and look at our yard with the fence almost done and my garden starting to flourish and the mulberries starting to ripen and the huge oak trees filling the woods behind us - and I have peace and joy. Not from stuff. From Jesus. I look up from the computer and glance around our livingroom and just can't not say "I LOVE our house!". It is our forever home [as far as I know - Jesus has surprised us before!], and I just adore it. I've never felt like this before. I've never felt so content with life.

I'd encourage you to try fasting from something - something you think is very valuable - and watch Jesus take its place and start to see the reality that He is the only thing that has any value. It's painful, and beautiful. But most good things are.

Being Humbled.

I'm in a place of transition, of maturing and growing, healing and learning...and mostly, being humbled.

It's really uncomfortable. Can I just be honest? It's incredibly painful.

But I feel more peace today than I have in a long time, because I know it's not a punishment or trial - it's a loving Father walking me through my hurts

and my past

and my flaws

to make me whole - to bring me closer to Him.

To make me more like Him.

I'm learning that there are some things that I treasure that hold no real value, and some things I have tossed aside that are priceless.

I am learning that my plans and His plans do not look exactly the same.

I know that He loves me, and that He is walking me through this out of love.

This has been my anthem as of late. God is good when it hurts. God is Love when everything is empty.

"Though the pain is an ocean, tossing us around, You have calmed greater waters, and higher mountains have come down."

Country Road, Take Me Home

I seriously giggle every time I sign in to do a post when I see how long it's been since my last post. I think about blogging so much, and I have so much I could write. So...I'll try to do better. :]

Right now we're in the final stages of buying our first home. This week we will either get the house, or lose it and have to shell out some cash for inspections and things like that. So it's a tense time right now, but we both have peace about it, and we know Jesus will take care of it.

After we get the house, we're looking at lots of fun DIY projects I can talk about, plus a potential family shift. I'm pumped.

aloha and hello!

[andy bernard quote from The Office. love it.]

I am actually doing some DIY-ing, and hoping to start posting pictures and linking up. I'm getting a handle on two under two, I think...or maybe I've actually started getting delusional. We'll see!

May BH&G Organization

May Storage Projects: Garage

Create Task Kits. Create kits for various outdoors projects by filling 5- and 10-gallon plastic buckets with all the tools, products, and accessories you need to complete specific tasks such as car-washing, weeding, bicycle repair, and more.

Stash Sporting Gear. Fill tall kitchen trash cans with large and odd-shaped sporting gear. Drill holes in the bottom of bins if drainage is important. Stabilize containers by securing to a wall with short bungee cords.

Organize the Trunk. Clean out your vehicle's trunk. Toss every item that is expired or damaged. Place all trunk gear in a canvas bin or box. Make sure the container doesn't slip by adding rubber or hook-and-loop tape to the bottom.

Tidy Up the Tools. Hang hand tools on a wall near your workbench from hooks on pegboard, magnetic board, or a wall-mount strip system. Label each tool's spot. Put extra tools in a tool box or clear plastic boxes and store on floor underneath workbench.

**I don't have a garage, but I'm okay with that. This is lots of organizing I don't have to worry about! ;]**

Update since 40 days ago!

It's been a while since I posted anything, other than the copy&paste stuff about organization, and a LOT has been going on. It's after 9, so I'm sleepy, but I will try to get caught up here!

First of all, the reason for the absence is that the staff of 6:22 were doing a 40 day media fast leading up to our Good Friday event. Can i just be real and say that I did NOT miss Facebook at all? We cancelled Netflix, didn't watch anything on TV [except some stuff that Shiloh likes], got off Facebook, and a few other different things, depending on the person. I really thought not having Facebook would be tough, but honestly if it weren't for my family and the pictures of my girls, I would've deleted my account when this fast ended. I've been so much more productive! More at peace, more organized, more active during the day because I'm not constantly checking updates and all that craziness - it's nuts how much time I waste on that site! But I'm sure I'll fuss more about that another time. :]

The biggest excitement in my life has been having 2 kids! Ariel Judah was born February 17th. She is my little Loverbug. Shiloh has adjusted to her wonderfully, and I'm just constantly in awe of how blessed I am to have such beautiful, perfectly healthy, loving, hilarious little girls.

They are my sunshine -Sugarbean and Loverbug. :]

Also, I've been doing a Bible/Book Study with the rest of the staff on Philip Yancey's book Prayer and I'm really enjoying it. I'm on my 6th time of reading through the book, and I'll definitely read it again. I was going to do a blog series on it and Matthew suggested I teach a study on it instead [I'll probably still do a post or two]. So that's been good.

Let's see...we just had our Passover dinner at the Boiler Room, this past week was the Feast of Unleavened Bread [which I *love*, because I get to make flat breads all week. :] Good excuse to bake too much!], and then we had our Good Friday gathering, which moved from the Town Commons to GCF due to rain. It went great though! 4 or 5 people [ I couldn't see all the hands clearly due to stage lights] accepted Jesus as their Savior - ALWAYS incredible to be around!!!

I've been getting more creative/crafty with the snatches of free time I've had, since I couldn't just get on Hulu or Netflix, too. More posts to come about that I'm sure!

This has been an awesome fast. Very humbling, very eye-opening. I'm excited to see what happens next!

March&April BH&G

**I'm catching up on my BH&G posts! Since Ariel was born [need to post about that!] we've been doing a media fast leading up to Good Friday [need to post about that too!], so I haven't posted anything anywhere. But I don't want to fall too far behind, so this is just a real quick catch-up!**

March Storage Projects: Living Room

Personal Storage Bin. Give every family member a spot to stash personal items. Fill a bookcase with similar baskets or bins and label containers with each person's name. Establish a house rule to put away books, magazines, toys, and projects every night.

Multifunctional Storage. Overhaul your occasional tables. Replace tables and traditional ottomans with small chests and storage cubes. Add baskets to open spaces. Skirt tables and stash items underneath.

Don't Overdo with Collectibles.[I'm currently working on this!] Edit a collection to 12 or a fewer outstanding items. Display on a single shelf for maximum impact. Store other items in the collection in one location. Introduce three or four new items--and remove and store the same number--every season.

Create a Space for Entertainment Supplies. Designate one easily accessible drawer for entertaining supplies. Fill the drawer with coasters, napkins, and snack bowls or plates. Include a basket of favorite snacks, a roll of paper towels, and a mini trash receptacle.

April Storage Projects: Laundry

Sorting Baskets. Place a three-compartment bin or basket (look at home or office supply stores for options) in a closet or on an open shelf in your laundry room. Use it to separate out clothing to be repaired, dry-cleaned, and donated.

Keep Detergent Handy. Fill plastic beverage dispensers with laundry detergent, softener, and other liquid laundry additives. Hang a set of plastic measuring cups nearby from a cup hook.

Drying Rack. Mount a drying rack or double towel bar near your washer as a spot for air-drying clean sweaters or rugs.

Make a Catch-all for Ironing Supplies. Convert a silverware caddy into a stain-treating or ironing kit. Fill with small size cleaners, spray starches, and linen waters. Be sure to include essential tools such as brushes, dry-cleaning pads, and collar points.