Monday, September 13, 2010

secret place.

I know this may seem a little cheesy, since the Boiler Room is doing internships right now called "Secret Place", but I promise I wasn't thinking about that when I decided to write this. :]

I was reading a devotion today on Psalm 91, and it mentioned abiding with God in the secret place. We read things like that all the time, and the Bible uses that phrase a lot, but what does it mean to you? Do you have a secret place?

If not, I'd suggest finding one.

For the first year or so I was saved, I didn't know/care what this meant. I was happy with my life, I was surrounded by christian friends, and I didn't really feel a need to have a place just for me and Jesus, since He was so widely accepted in every other area of my life.

Then, Matthew broke up with me. And suddenly my 15 year old world crashed in around me. I was left staring at everything I had lost and trying to figure out if I really meant all the things I had said about loving Jesus or if I had been doing to fit in with my friends and make Matthew like me. My friends got tired of me moping about the break up eventually, and then it was really crunch time. All I had was Jesus to lean on and work through it all, and we needed a secret place.

I don't necessarily mean a physical location. When you're a teenager, the only real option is your bedroom. ;] I mean a place in your heart that is just Jesus' spot. A place you keep things that only He knows about. A place where you can lay your burdens on Him, because He cares for you. And then He can come in and heal and clean. Somewhere He'll never have to share with anyone else.

Once I got past all my mess with that break up, I found that having that place was still important to me. My quiet times with Him were sweeter. I felt like He knew me better, and I knew Him better. [Even though He obviously knew me all along.] It's not just a place to retreat when times are hard. It's something we have to cultivate in all seasons. You can't invite Him in and then when things work out, lock the door.

I'm also not knocking having a special physical location where you like to be with Him. Those can just be more tricky[but also very helpful, especially when you live with someone else!]. When I returned from my short stint at Emmanuel College in Georgia, I went into another very dark time in my life. When I was going through that [and up until Matthew and I got married], I always went to the field behind the graveyard on 10th street to just sit and work through things with Jesus. I could cry, or yell, or lay down, or dance, or sing, or read my bible and journal, all without interruption. I spent one night out there in pouring rain just laying on the ground, letting Jesus deal with mess in my heart. I still love going there, and it still calms me when I go.

Jesus has a special place in His heart for you. We're not just a mushed up ball of humankind to Him - He knows each hair on our head. I love Shiloh more than life, but I have NO clue how many hairs are on her head! He really cares for you specifically, and wants a special place for the two of you to have to yourselves. Just like a husband and wife. There are things Matthew and I know about each other that no one else will, because we have a secret place in our relationship where intimacy can grow. Jesus is our husband...we are His bride...doesn't it make sense? Find a place for Him. He won't storm in and force you to, but when you choose Him and make a place for Him, beautiful things can happen.


Ambassador 2 Nations said...

Thanks, I needed this.

Rebreakfast said...

I actually have a secret place by the river :)
It is so very important to have one, like you said, whether physically or mentally.