Jesus Hearts Yard Sales.

I've had some pretty major yard sale scores the last couple of weekends, and it could not have come at a better time. The last few months have been the worst financially since Matthew and I got married [don't even mention October...which I renamed "Sucktober" very maturely!], and it is of course time to gear up for the holidays, which we are hosting for the first time this year. Then throw in the move mid-october plus a 14 month old plus my pregnant belly suddenly getting giant seemingly overnight, making me MUCH less efficient, and we have what you could call a tight spot on our hands. [Note: Shiloh is not a "tight spot"...her ability to climb on things and reach things above her head may be, though ;)]

Anyway, at times when it's tough financially, it's easy to start doubting everything you're doing, wondering if maybe you've been a bad steward somewhere and so God can't trust you with as much, so you start pulling your life apart to look at everything you've done. The problem with that is, it's not about you.

Yes, you absolutely are responsible for being a good steward with what you've been given. And yes, there is biblical evidence that God rewards good stewardship[Matthew 25:14-30]. But, when you begin to think that God's provision and faithfulness is tied to something you're doing, you're making it about you and your works, instead of the fact that God is love, and will be gracious and just.

So that's what I learned [and have been learning, and continue to learn]: it's not about me. If I would just go ahead and really learn this lesson, God could stop trying to get it through my head and work on another part of me...but I am just not learning it very quickly. I'm very grateful He loves us in our messiness.

Another temptation in financial hard times is to doubt not ourselves, but God. This is always a dumb idea. God is always God, He is always Love, He is always just and kind and gracious. But when we don't receive something the way we expect to, we refuse to receive it at all, sort of like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. If we would just step back in those moments and remind ourselves of the Truth : God is good, He is Love, He is my Father, and He will provide for me, we would be able to see where He is providing for us in a different way.

Like my yard sale scores.

We have [literally] a zero dollar budget for anything other than food for Thanksgiving. So decorations and things of that nature were totally out the window, which isn't a big deal, but kind of a bummer. It's my first Thanksgiving as hostess, and I'd like to be kind of fancy and fun about it, you know? And although this seems like a silly little desire, God knew this desire of my heart and made a way for me. He didn't give us a bigger check so I could go out and spend money on brand new stuff. He did, however, remind me that Matthew and I had seen a moving sale that morning and that since they said everything must go, they probably just put everything out by the street after the sale.

Jackpot.

All in neat stacks in boxes was everything I needed. Platters and dishes and candles and decorative things...I mean everything I could've wanted from a store. For free. My friend Haley and I went by and loaded up the Jeep [no exaggeration...we packed it out!] and even got to meet the owner of the stuff and hear their story. And this was doubly exciting to me because I hate the idea of buying/consuming new things and increasing the need to just make more and more junk to sell in stores for way too much when there are people throwing the same stuff out every day right down the street. It's crazy to me! When did we get too snooty to re-use someone else's candle holders or board games or pictures frames [and the list goes on and on]?! Crazy.

I think that's why Jesus hearts yard sales. We learn to consume less, respect the earth more, and find our identity in "stuff" less. We learn to be creative. We learn to share with other people who may need what we don't anymore. It's just good common sense. In case you didn't notice, I heart yard sales too. :]

This now feels super long. Hope it made sense. Now I'm going to bed. :]

New Recipe.

I love experimenting in the kitchen. Sometimes it turns out awesome, sometimes it is really bad. But today I may have nailed it.

No pictures, because it would be pretty boring, but here's what I made:

Vanilla-Honey Tea

1 family size tea bag
3/4 cup sugar [we like it real sweet!]
2 Tbsp organic honey
1.5 tsp clear vanilla extract
2 quarts water


Pretty simple...I just wanted to change it up a little from normal sweet tea and thought I'd share. We'll see what Matthew thinks when he gets home from work.

Access.

Things are finally getting settled [still haven't unloaded all of our stuff yet, but I think it's helping me restrain myself from putting up Christmas decorations so I'm ok with that]! Matthew had a personal retreat this weekend to a monastery in Virginia that's being turned into a Prayer House, so Shiloh and I had our first girl's weekend alone. And we made it. :] Actually, we more than just made it; it was awesome! She slept ten hours straight at night and took a three hour nap in the morning, and we went with my friend Haley to a toy store here in town and played there, and then scored some free stuff out of some yard sale leftovers. AND we saw a rainbow. Pretty sweet.

So here's where I am this morning:

To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ; to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him.

[Ephesians 3:8-12]

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

[Hebrews 10:19-22]


Shiloh started me on this because she's really into keys lately. She LOVES finding the right key and us holding her up to the door, the mailbox, whatever and letting her put in the key to open it.So this morning she was walking around with a key putting it in all the keyholes [all our doors have skeleton key keyholes because they're old] and I got hit with the word "access". She wants access to everything Matthew and I have, and to us. And it goes both ways, because I want all of her as well. The idea of shutting a door between the two of us when one of us wants to get to the other is a painful image for me!


And it's the same with God as our Father.

There was a door between us, and we're the ones who closed it. Everything started with open access between us and God, and then we slammed the door in His face. Every day we get up and make decisions to shut that door between us. And then we have the audacity to say things like "God is distant" or "I can't feel God and it's His fault" and on and on. But the truth is, we shut the door and God put a plan in motion to swing it wide open. He was a parent separated from His children, and that is an anguishing place to be. And us? We are too comfortable in this world to realize most of the time that we are nothing more than children separated from our Father. That's scary when you're a kid! And it should be even more so in a spiritual sense.

We have bad things enter our life, and instead of letting God through the door that He gave everything to open, we throw a tantrum and blame it on Him and shut the door. And yet through Jesus, we have the ability [and the right!?!] to open the door and get close to Him again. We have access to the God of the universe any time we want because He's adopted us as His children and has handed us the keys. Isn't that insane? What's probably more insane is how nonchalant we are about it. I'm guilty of that, most definitely. I can hang out with, talk to, hear from, receive from, give to, and directly connect with God anytime, and I pass up opportunities all the time because something else is more pressing. I always forget to have some time with God during Shiloh's naps, because I start cleaning or crafting or blogging or looking up coupons, etc and by the time I realize I'm not spending that time with God, she's awake. But what good does a clean house or saving money on groceries do for her if I'm not where I need to be with Jesus or being an example for her of how to pursue and love God?

Don't waste this gift.When I hand Shiloh a key, she is focused on one thing: getting access to whatever I've just given her. She's so much smarter than me. :]

And she so darn cute. Here's another picture just for cuteness.

I'd encourage you to look into this stuff yourself...there's a lot I could say that I'm not because I don't want to post a novel.

not now, arctic puppets!

This has been a month for the history books. Or maybe a month to purposely be left out of the history books. I have never been so glad to see a month end!

This is just a quick update, because we just got internet today and it's been over a month since I've posted, but it's also ten o'clock and I'm almost 7 months pregnant [when did THAT happene?!] and I know Shiloh will be up at 5am [only 7 hours from now...zzz...].

We've been at the new apartment for almost 3 weeks now. It is such a cool place. Once we get more settled, I'll take pictures. I hate not being settled after 3 weeks, but I'll have to count the stairs next time I leave and share that too...then you'll understand.

Shiloh and Matthew have been sick, so I have been beyond busy and pretty much in a constant state of wishing I was napping. But we're coming out of that now, and Jesus has given me lots of grace to get them through it, as well as giving me such a sweet husband and daughter, which helps a lot.

We haven't had internet, which is more crippling than I expected. But we got it hooked up today [FINALLY!], so I'm hoping to get back into blogging as I get more settled here.

Life Lesson of the Day/Week/Month: taking care of a baby is like a vacation compared to taking care of a toddler. ESPECIALLY while pregnant. I have so much more respect now for women who have done this without having a total meltdown.

Jesus is doing some good stuff in our family right now, and in our little community of people at the Boiler Room. It can get messy when He does that, but it's always for our good. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Now I am going to go to bed and hopefully not move for at least 6 hours. That's not likely, considering Kicky McGee here in my belly and how much water I just chugged, but here's hoping.

I Will Remember You.

I have not forgotten about blogging! I have been keeping up with the recipes I've tried each week, pictures and all. I just have to figure out how to get them from my phone onto my blog. :] But so far, I've made cake pops, dulce de leche, pesto, and a "family omelet". I'm pretty excited.

ALSO, I need to do a ONE YEAR blog for my little baby girl! I'm waiting on pictures to do that, but once I get those, be prepared to say "aww" for about 10 minutes straight. :] She's so cute.

So I have a lot to catch up on here, but I'm 20 weeks pregnant, chasing around a now walking one year old and trying to prepare for a move in two weeks...I'll get this done when I can!

secret place.

I know this may seem a little cheesy, since the Boiler Room is doing internships right now called "Secret Place", but I promise I wasn't thinking about that when I decided to write this. :]

I was reading a devotion today on Psalm 91, and it mentioned abiding with God in the secret place. We read things like that all the time, and the Bible uses that phrase a lot, but what does it mean to you? Do you have a secret place?

If not, I'd suggest finding one.

For the first year or so I was saved, I didn't know/care what this meant. I was happy with my life, I was surrounded by christian friends, and I didn't really feel a need to have a place just for me and Jesus, since He was so widely accepted in every other area of my life.

Then, Matthew broke up with me. And suddenly my 15 year old world crashed in around me. I was left staring at everything I had lost and trying to figure out if I really meant all the things I had said about loving Jesus or if I had been doing to fit in with my friends and make Matthew like me. My friends got tired of me moping about the break up eventually, and then it was really crunch time. All I had was Jesus to lean on and work through it all, and we needed a secret place.

I don't necessarily mean a physical location. When you're a teenager, the only real option is your bedroom. ;] I mean a place in your heart that is just Jesus' spot. A place you keep things that only He knows about. A place where you can lay your burdens on Him, because He cares for you. And then He can come in and heal and clean. Somewhere He'll never have to share with anyone else.

Once I got past all my mess with that break up, I found that having that place was still important to me. My quiet times with Him were sweeter. I felt like He knew me better, and I knew Him better. [Even though He obviously knew me all along.] It's not just a place to retreat when times are hard. It's something we have to cultivate in all seasons. You can't invite Him in and then when things work out, lock the door.

I'm also not knocking having a special physical location where you like to be with Him. Those can just be more tricky[but also very helpful, especially when you live with someone else!]. When I returned from my short stint at Emmanuel College in Georgia, I went into another very dark time in my life. When I was going through that [and up until Matthew and I got married], I always went to the field behind the graveyard on 10th street to just sit and work through things with Jesus. I could cry, or yell, or lay down, or dance, or sing, or read my bible and journal, all without interruption. I spent one night out there in pouring rain just laying on the ground, letting Jesus deal with mess in my heart. I still love going there, and it still calms me when I go.

Jesus has a special place in His heart for you. We're not just a mushed up ball of humankind to Him - He knows each hair on our head. I love Shiloh more than life, but I have NO clue how many hairs are on her head! He really cares for you specifically, and wants a special place for the two of you to have to yourselves. Just like a husband and wife. There are things Matthew and I know about each other that no one else will, because we have a secret place in our relationship where intimacy can grow. Jesus is our husband...we are His bride...doesn't it make sense? Find a place for Him. He won't storm in and force you to, but when you choose Him and make a place for Him, beautiful things can happen.

New Direction.

One thing I have learned over the last year is that blogging about anything in depth is difficult with a baby/toddler. Then, throw in being pregnant again and sleepy all the time, and it gets even more difficult. But this is something I really want to do, and I have a plan and a system...so hopefully this will work.

I'm slightly stealing this idea from an old friend of mine, named Sarah. She's been doing a new things every week this year and it's been inspiring to keep up with. [Check her out at her blog - she's a smart cookie!]

So I'm taking that and tweaking it a bit, because I have been going through everything in the house recently [nesting much?] and came across my recipe binder, which has hundreds of recipes, most of which I've never tried. And I LOVE cooking! So I got bummed out for a minute, and then wondered how to give myself a kick in the butt to start trying some. And this is what I came up with:

52 Weeks - The Recipe Edition.

I'm going to pull out a new recipe every week for the next 52 weeks [even if it's just a drink or dessert or snack recipe-I'll need easy ones for when the new baby gets here], and make it one night for dinner. Then I can take pictures and post the recipe and tell you what we thought of it! It will take some commitment, but I really want to do it.

So the plan is to start with Shiloh's birthday party, since I'll be trying a few new things there, and then jump right in the monday after! I'm pretty excited.

The second phase of the plan is to blog another day each week with something God's showing me in the bible. I love writing about the bible! So let's see if I can do this.